The Illusive Perfect Pump

I’ve been driving for a little over eight years now. Living for most of that time in the rural areas of New Hampshire and Massachusetts, it isn’t a stretch to say that I’ve fill up my gas tank on an average of twice per month over that eight-year span. Ninety-six months times twice per month puts me down for at least one-hundred ninety two trips to the pump.

How can it be that I’ve never had a perfect pump?

To clarify, my definition of a “perfect pump” is the tank filling up and the pump stopping on its own at a dollar amount ending in “.00,” as opposed to the more common definition of being able to stop the pump by hand at the right time. A perfect pump is like baseball’s perfect game, where as landing on the double-zero by my own accord is more like the less-but-still-rare no-hitter.

I’ve always thought about the perfect pump as I’m filling up my tank, and for eight years I’ve been eluded of the personal glory that I could tell others knowing that they couldn’t care less. Logically, that doesn’t seem right. (The not landing on it part, not the telling other people that don’t care part.)

There are one-hundred possible places for the pump to stop, each being equally as likely, right? That means that I should have hit it at least once, but I haven’t. I like to ask others the same question, and I’ve never met anyone that has hit it either.

Is there something built into each pump so that it never stops automatically on double doughnuts? It seems true that a lot of people will continue over-pumping to round out the change to an even number as though their entire checkbook is riding on it.

Is it even possible?

If I’m not hitting the zero-zero, and no one I’ve ever asked has hit it, shouldn’t there be someone out there that hits it every other time to make up for all of our collective misses?

I came as close as I ever have this morning: $49.01. There were a line of cars at the pump, and I caught myself staring in disbelief like in one of those movies where the kid is looking out the back of the school bus at whoever as the bus slowly pulls away. I gave a glance back to the lady waiting behind me and she threw up a “What are you waiting for?” hand gesture. I recapped, got in my car and took off.

Just one penny off.

Have you ever had a perfect pump? There’s gotta be someone out there.